5 techniques that many coaches and researchers say help people stick with goals

I write a lot about marketing and growth in some way or another. I have not been blogging for a month and realized now is a great time to write my next blog.

I hope you had a great month or so since I have last spoken to you. It has been a busy time of year for me. I spend the last week of the year closing out my businesses and preparing for next year for both my businesses and my personal life.

I often get very excited about new things and can fall away from them. But other times I stick with things without any effort at all. Do you notice the same? So, I did some thinking and researching.

Let’s look at this from two things I’m working on. The first is learning Italian.

1. People say to stick with something you need a compelling “why”. Ok, well, I’m at 200 consecutive days today of learning Italian with Duolingo. I am going to Rome for 3 days this year. Three. Is that enough of a why to stick with learning an entirely new language? On that trip we’re going to other places that don’t speak Italian. I’m not so gung ho on learning those other languages. What is it about sticking with Italian? Do I really have a compelling enough why?

2. People say make it fun. Ok, I can see this. If I find something fun, I’ll be more likely to want to do it. But at the same time, because it’s a new habit, it’s not always going to be fun, right? Sometimes it’ll feel like a chore. Duolingo is actually pretty fun. I’ve tried other courses. I like Pimsleur as well. It teaches in an entirely different fashion, but I wouldn’t call Pimsleur “fun” in the same way that Duolingo is made to be fun. But I do enjoy using both.

3. People say something called “habit stacking” can be helpful. This is when you “stack” a new habit on a habit you already do. Like doing squats while brushing your teeth. It helps remind you to do the new thing. I don’t use “habit stacking” per se with my Italian lessons. But I do everything I can to complete my lessons first thing in the morning. I ended up switching my “first of the day” task from marketing to Italian. This is both good and bad, but in reality, sticking to the same time has been helpful. At this point, if I don’t do it first thing in the morning, I get anxious that I will miss a day.

4. That brings us to another technique: Don’t break the chain. So many programs have caught onto this tidbit of human nature. I sent a screenshot of my 200 day Duolingo streak to my dad. Humans like to keep a “streak” going and using this can be a great motivator.

5. People say accountability partners can be super helpful. I do not have an accountability partner for learning Italian. It is just something I do on my own. When I hit huge milestones I send the milestone to someone, but they don’t encourage me regularly and I don’t tell them I did Italian regularly.

Ok, so let’s look at another goal: Eating less sugar. I am not doing as well at that:

1. Do I have a strong why? No not really. According to all my blood work I am healthy. My weight is healthy. I’m adopted and have no idea of my family history so I can play ignorant there. I love sugar. Not eating it is incredibly hard when I don’t have any outside or inside forces pulling me in the direction of eating less. Nonetheless, I’m still working on it. It’s just not as far along as Italian.

2. Make it fun: Um, no. I have not found a way to make eating less sugar “fun”. I will challenge myself to do something different; distract myself with something fun; etc, but in the end I give in and eat the sugar. I struggle with this.

3. Habit stacking: This is harder to do as it is do less of vs do more of. Stacking “when you feel like x, do y instead” isn’t really habit stacking as I’m not doing something on top of a habit I already do.

4. Don’t break the chain: I’m not looking to give up sugar altogether, just cut down on the amount of sweets I eat. What is my chain? No added sugar? Generally I’m good with not eating food with added sugar except the sweets themselves. I eat Two Good yogurt for example — it is a Greek yogurt with 2 grams of sugar. I use monk fruit instead of cane sugar where I can. When you’re looking to cut down but not quit altogether, don’t break the chain has to be more creative because it’s ok to eat sugar; just eat less of it.

5. Accountability partners: The reason this doesn’t work for me is because I don’t WANT to cut down on sugar enough. I don’t have a good enough reason so when I have to tell someone over and over that I ate more than I wanted and have all the excuses in the world, what’s the purpose? Until I’m ready to let go of my excuses and make it happen, accountability partners will likely give up on me because I’m not being serious.

When I look at just these five techniques for sticking with something: Have a compelling why, make it fun, habit stacking, don’t break the chain, and accountability partners, I noticed that the one thing that differed from learning Italian and eating less sugar is my mindset. I WANT to learn Italian. I’m EXCITED to and LOOK FORWARD to practicing it. It’s not just a “sure it would be fun” or “I should”. It’s my own personal goal that I feel excited to work on.

Another goal I have is to become a registered yoga teacher. I strongly believe it will help me personally as well as help both of my businesses — my therapy business in which I help first responders and other helping professionals through trauma, secondary trauma and burnout, and my coaching business in which I help therapists get out of their own way and take action to create the business and life they desire. I’m currently in the middle of my 200 hours certification course. And you know what? I WANT to become a teacher. I’m EXCITED and LOOK FORWARD to listening to the lectures and practicing what they teach in them.

Looking at the five techniques again:

Could you say that I have a compelling why? Sure. My why is my strong DESIRE; MY WANT to learn Italian and become a yoga instructor and that I LOOK FORWARD to practicing every day. But that’s not what they’re talking about. If I tell someone I want to, they’ll say “but why”. I just want it. I strongly desire it. Almost to the point of a need. But not a forced need, like when the doctor says “you need to lose weight.” More like I am being pulled in that direction. I NEED to go that way.

Could you say I found a way to make it fun? Yes, Duolingo is fun, even Pimsleur is fun. But that’s because of my mindset. It’s fun because I make it fun. I want to do it. Think of it this way — the beach is fun because you think it’s fun. Sleeping in is fun because you think it’s fun. When you actually want something, you enjoy it. Your thoughts guide your emotions. I don’t REALLY want to cut back on sugar. It’s a thought that I should.

Habit stacking: The only thing I can say here is I use Duolingo first thing in the morning, Pimsleur “when I have the time and feel like it” in the car — I don’t have a 200 day streak on Pimsleur, and Yoga Teacher Training throughout the day as a “pick me up” and at the end of the day as a day-ender.

Don’t break the chain: I definitely fall into the category that this works for me in regards to Italian. However, for my sweets journey and my Yoga Teacher Training, I don’t have enough days built up that this is powerful enough; that it FEELS effective yet. If I miss a day of lessons, or I eat some sugar, I know I’ll get back to what I’m working on.

Accountability partners: Either I will do this on my own because I want it so badly or I won’t do it because I’m not being pulled in that direction powerfully and accountability partners won’t be effective for me.

How about you? What goals do you have and do you find any or all of these techniques to be helpful in sticking with your goals? Which one(s) work for you?

Even though this blog post wasn’t about building a business, utilizing techniques that help you stick to your daily habits is important to anything you want to accomplish.

Schedule your clarity call with me to learn how to overcome the anxiety and lack of motivation keeping you back from having more success with your goals and in life! If you still need to a bit more time, take a look around my site.