Burnout Is Not The End

Are you feeling dread about going to work? Feeling like you want to cry where you think about going to work? Maybe you’re feeling exhausted all the time and are more irritable at home and have less compassion for your colleagues or clients.

You’re worried that you're not cut out to be a therapist. You think you must have gone into the wrong field. You really thought you wanted to be a therapist, but you feel so much of your clients’ stories and it is hard to get their stories out of your head and out of your body. It’s hard to sleep well now.

The truth is, you're burnt out. Burnout is more than just not feeling like going to work. It is the dread you feel. It is the difficulty finding the desire for compassion. It is common among therapists who give their all to companies that overwork them. You are not broken and you are a good therapist.

If you’re thinking you might be burnt out or headed in that direction, it may be a good time to re-evaluate your position at work. You don’t have to leave your position, but start by re-evaluate it. If you want to stay, I have a few ideas that may help you manage the burnout.

Two ideas for re-evaluation:

1. Re-evaluate your values and the company’s values: sometimes the values you hold don't align with the company's values. It could be their stated values or it could be they don't act in accordance to their stated values. A company I started with many years ago held the same values as me. The management and leadership lived these values and I enjoyed working there. Then, they got bought out by a bigger medical corporation and the stated values stayed good with me. However, the lived values were much different. It wasn’t my boss’s fault, or even her boss’s fault. They had to do what the higher up management wanted. And the way they went about what they wanted did not align with their stated values. It became harder and harder for me to stay there. I had an exit plan though, so I stuck it out, using some of these same tools until it was time for me to leave.

When you work for a company who's values match yours, you feel much more aligned and you want to go to work because the energy is right. I stayed at this company for many years because I liked who they were and it felt like a family there. Management and leadership genuinely cared about us and showed us. When the company was bought out, they “said” the right things, but showed very different things. It was no longer aligned with my values and was rubbing me the wrong way every day I went in.

You, like so many of my clients, are compassionate and really care about your clients. You want to give them the time and energy they deserve. But if your company values something different than you, or their lived values are different that their stated values, it is hard to give each of your clients what they deserve.

2. Ask yourself a couple of questions: Do you have any resentments? Do you have any negative feelings about work or your role? Are you feeling overwhelmed with the amount of work? Do you feel appreciated? Then use some deductive reasoning and ask yourself “why” four more times to get to the root of it. It may be the company’s values and yours are no longer in alignment, but it may be something else.

Often this form of deductive reasoning can help us uncover deeper root causes of our burnout that have to do with our own ability to manage stress or other aspects that we have control over.

An important thing to keep in mind is that sometimes burnout happens because of things that are within our control, but frequently, burnout is because of the management and leadership of the company you are working for. It is vital to know which is causing your burnout because if it has to do with things within your control and you move companies, you will inevitably end up burnt out again. (Side note, just because you move because it IS a company issue, your new company may have similar management and leadership issues. This is also why it is so important to be able to recognize and improve our ability to manage what is within our control.

If you’re re-evaluated and you’re not ready to leave your current position yet, try these tips:

1. PERMA model: Positive emotions. Ensure you are finding ways to increase positive emotions as often as possible throughout the day at home and at work. Laugh. Smile. Visualization. These are things that have been proven to change the brain chemistry. Engagement. Find ways to get in the flow and feel engaged in your life. Sometimes that is by listening to music, sometimes that is by getting outside, sometimes that is through aromatherapy, sometimes that is decreasing distractions. Good Relationships. Ensure you are interacting with people that lift you up and encourage you both at home and at work. Meaning. In what ways does your work have meaning to you and the greater community? In what ways does your life outside of work have meaning? Accomplishments: If you are not devoting enough time to your dreams, now is the time. Pay attention to your accomplishments, at home and at work. How have you changed over the years? What have you accomplished? What is your next accomplishment?

The PERMA model is a great tool to help you see where you may be lacking some positivity at home and work and where you can put effort into improving.

2. Boundaries. Are you good at setting boundaries? Many of us aren’t. Boundaries start with internal work. Why is it hard for you to set a boundary? What did you learn as a child about boundaries? Setting boundaries also means we may upset people, and who wants to upset the apple cart? If you’re struggling with setting boundaries in your life, you will probably also struggle at work. Getting some good coaching or therapy, depending on what’s making boundary setting hard, may help you learn to set boundaries.

Boundaries may look like saying “no” to certain things. Boundaries may look like delegation. Boundaries may look like not reading email outside of work. Boundaries may look like leaving at the end of the day even if everything’s not done.

All of this will set off the fight/flight at first (and likely for a long time), but setting healthy boundaries is important to managing burnout.

3. Working with your thoughts: Keep a list of the tasks that motivate and deplete you. Use your energy wisely so you’re not already tired when attacking the tasks that deplete you. Find small motivating tweaks throughout the day…music, affirmations, daydreaming, stretching. Even it is just 1 minute between clients, it can make a huge difference. Challenge yourself to make the day a game and thus fun. What do you need to change to make today fun? Depending on what you’re doing, are there tasks that you hate that a coworker likes that you can switch for a task they have but dislike?

I know this tip for managing burnout is hard, and may feel impossible. The important piece with this one is our thoughts create our feelings. If I’m feeling burnt out, there are thoughts that are going with that. So to create a less draining day, start with changing the thoughts.

I hope these tips for understanding and working with burnout helped give you some ideas to put into place. Whether or not you are burnt out, when you work with me as you open your private practice, you will align your passion and energy, learn to overcome imposter syndrome, learn the ways to market that feel aligned with you, and work with the clients that energize you, allowing you the ability to give each one the time and attention they deserve.

Schedule your clarity call with me to learn how to start making marketing your business habitual or overcome the anxiety and imposter syndrome keeping you back from having a more successful business! If you still need to a bit more time, take a look around my site.