Habits Aren’t Fun
Staying consistent with a new habit like marketing, meditation, or exercise is not easy. Habits are stored in a different part of the brain than our decision making is.
As you're trying to build a new habit, the brain has to create a new mental pathway. It's like walking through deep grass when there's a path right next to you. Wouldn't it be easier to move over to the beaten path than forge a new one?
Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of embarrassment are all reasons why people don't stick with habits.
Another, important reason, is what we expect to happen. Sometimes we have expectations that we'll enjoy something if we do it long enough. Do you hope you'll start enjoying getting up while it's super dark to exercise? Or hope that you'll enjoy marketing your business? If so, you’re not alone.
But the reality is, when you do something long enough, it becomes a pattern in the brain. Habits are patterns and aren't stored in the emotion brain. We don’t necessarily get “excited” to do good habits. What our experience with the patterns or habits are are stored in the emotion centers, but not the pattern itself. So finding ways to connect the new pattern or behavior with positive experiences will be helpful.
In his book, The Science of Self Discipline, Peter Hollins states that it's not do much self discipline we need as the ability to tolerate discomfort.
That is because, again, the fact that habits and decision making are stored in two different parts of the brain.
As you're trying to create new habits that will make your business successful, you need to learn to be ok with discomfort.
At first you'll have to push yourself because it's a new behavior and goes against the current patterns (which, to the brain, change means potential death so don't do it. This is just part of our hardwiring - if you love change and think I'm wrong, try not making any changes for a period of time. That's your change and it's not easy).
Generally we try to stay away from discomfort, so leaning into it is itself a decision we have to make.
A few tips that helped me stick with new behaviors until they became my new habits were:
1. Find ways to make it fun. That way you're more likely to want to do it. You're attaching "good" experiences with this pattern. Connecting music to writing my blogs for example has been helpful. I don’t like working in silence, so when I can find ways to make work more fun, like listening to music, it helps.
2. Always bring it back to a very strong, deep why. Motivation isn't always there and will often follow action instead of precede it. When we don’t feel like doing something, it is incredibly hard to force ourselves into discomfort so having a really good reason why we’re doing it will help. It will not make it “fun” or “easy” but it can give you that kick in the butt you need to get going.
3. Always take the next right action. No excuses. Do you really want to be consistent at marketing your business, or managing anxiety, or overcoming imposter syndrome (or any new behavior/habit/pattern you’re trying to create)? This is a simple yes/no. If the answer is yes, then anything you say after that is an excuse. Get rid of it. Just take the next right action.
It is completely possible to lean into discomfort until it is no longer uncomfortable, but if you're struggling with it, hiring a coach may be just what you need for accountability and support. As I said, generally we try to avoid pain, so you are not alone if you struggle with this.
Don’t let any of your excuses or discomforts stand in your way of success. I help entrepreneurs overcome the imposter syndrome and anxiety that keeps them from fully marketing their business. Are you ready to build the life you started your business for? Are you ready to feel confident and proud of yourself? Are you ready to be a leader in your business? Then it's time to talk!
Schedule your clarity call with me to learn how to start making marketing your business habitual or overcome the anxiety and imposter syndrome keeping you back from having a more successful business! If you still need to a bit more time, take a look around my site.