Can You Really Overcome Anxiety?
Well, yes and no. Anxiety is hardwired into our existence. It is part of our survival system. So, in one way, no you cannot “overcome” anxiety. On the other hand, you can learn to influence and retrain the brain to be and stay anxious WHEN it is appropriate instead of all the time or in situations where your survival isn’t on the line.
Mindfulness is a proven way to stay in the moment. When we’re anxious, we’re either in the past or future (or in the present wondering “am I doing it right” which leads to the future what ifs).
Many people love mindfulness. But many people believe it’s a load of BS. It’s hard to sit quietly when your mind won’t stop. Some people just hope it will work. Whatever the reason you’re reading this, I’m glad you are.
Mindfulness is not “new age”. In fact it’s been around since the dawn of existence, not just in humans, but in all animals. Have you ever seen a cat staring intently, ready to pounce on its prey? It’s staying laser focused on the moment.
As you start mindfulness exercises, you’re fighting your survival instinct because you’re not used to it. Making you think about the past and future is the brain’s way of making sure you don’t make the same mistake as you did in the past or make “A” mistake in the future. It’s your survival system and it’s working properly-ish…the problem is it’s on when it doesn’t need to be.
Mindfulness takes a lifetime to master because it goes against the survival system. But the good news is you do not have to master it to reap the benefits! When you say “this isn’t working” and stop doing it, that’s the brain’s way of coming back to status quo and keeping you safe.
Mindfulness also takes time because it’s not habitual. Habits take less energy, freeing the brain up to be alert for potential danger. Mindfulness takes a lot of energy because it’s not a habit. Building habits means practicing over and over without judgement.
Some techniques for mindfulness include:
Preferably choose the same time each day.
Start small — only a minute if that’s all you can handle. As you breathe in, say “breathing in”. As you breathe out say “ breathing out”.
As you walk say in your head what you see — “oak tree, tan house, black mailbox, etc”.
Do some movement while listening to music that has alternating beats in one ear then the other slowly. This slow back and forth beat in your ears is a form of bilateral stimulation. In EMDR, slow bilateral stimulation helps the body calm down and is appropriate for anyone to do. It’s like rocking a baby to sleep. Make sure the beats are slow!
If it’s within your ability, try doing a plank for the count of 30. YOU count to 30; don’t let a timer do it.
Put a timer on for 15 seconds and count up without it being consistent — 1, 3, 4, 8, 10, 12, 15, 19, 22, 27, 32, 33 37, 40, 45, 50.
Bounce a tennis ball on a racquet and watch the seams of the ball
When you’re eating, taste every flavor in the food
Do a body scan and notice how each part of your body feels in space. What is the temperature of that body part? What is touching it or is it touching? Is it tense or relaxed?
There are a ton of ways to do mindfulness exercises. The above is only a sampling of ways. Unlearning and relearning new behaviors is not easy. If you know how to do a dive, try purposefully doing a belly flop. Your body instinctively tucks, even a bit to avoid “getting hurt”. The same happens when we practice being mindful: The brain instinctively tries to avoid pain by having you avoid mindfulness exercises because the illogical part of the brain — the survival brain — believes that it is protecting you by doing what you’re doing now and not putting extra energy into something else.
I’ve been practicing mindfulness for a long time. Sometimes I put great effort into it and sometimes minimal effort. But it is something that I have been working on for years. It is still incredibly hard for me to do at times. At this point I just notice that without judging myself or the technique and either try a different form of mindfulness or let it go for the moment and pick it up later. Mindfulness has been a game changer for me.
I highly encourage you to give mindfulness a try. And by that I mean, do it daily for at least 90 days. The more frequently you do it the faster you’ll see the benefits, but even just 1 minute per day for 90 days you will see a difference within you, especially if you’re keeping track of what you’re doing at different levels of stress.
Managing anxiety is not easy. I offer a proven 8 week program to help people influence their anxiety so it no longer has control of their life. If you would like to see if this program will help you, give me a call for a free 15 minute clarity call.