3 Tips to Living a Life of Freedom from the Chains of Anxiety

Anxiety can cause us not to take risks that will help us reach our goals in life. It can also save our lives by causing us to not take risks. Anxiety isn’t a good thing or a bad thing. It is just part of who we are.

Letting go of self judgement and self criticism takes time. You have to unlearn all the ways you had been thinking for years and replace them with new thoughts.

If anxiety is being a nuisance in your life and preventing you from taking risks that will help you reach your goals, like building your business for example, we can turn to mindfulness to help acknowledge the fears and take the healthy risks anyway.

It may be difficult to do; we’re not very practiced at taking those risks. So, as you’re starting out on your journey to build your business, market yourself, and overcome your anxiety, looking forward to what life will bring when you’re feeling successful and proud of the work you’ve put in, here are a few tips:

1. Goals: If your goals are vague: "I don't want to be so anxious" they may not get as profound results as goals that are more specific: "I will practice mindfulness for 15 minutes every morning for 30 days to notice and release judgements about myself".

SMART goals come in handy here: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time limited. Smart: Detail your goal (mindfulness to notice and release judgements), Measurable:  15 minutes per day, Attainable (do you believe you can achieve this), Relevant (do you really want to do this right now), Time limited (30 days).

With measurable results, it is easier to stick with the new behavior; we know WHAT we’re doing. A vague goal doesn’t tell us WHAT to do.

Tracking your progress is also important with goals. It’s hard to see the small incremental changes everyday unless they’re written out. However, you may not see results right away just because you’re tracking. Bring yourself back to your WHY. What’s so important to you about doing this thing you’re tracking?

Furthermore, find something you CAN track more easily. How many times did you go out and talk with someone new this week? How many minutes did you practice self-affirmations or mindfulness this week? What time of day did you do most of your marketing this week? When you track, you’re able to see what’s working and what isn’t, allowing you to stop what’s not working and continue what is, thus letting go of anxiety more quickly.

I am at my best in the morning. Marketing first thing in the morning gets it out of the way, but I’m also most alert and thus do my best marketing at that time of day. Waiting until later means I don’t want to do it, have less mental energy, and won’t feel as available for it. I’m more likely to stick with it if I do my marketing in the morning. Meditation and exercise are both difficult for me first thing in the morning. Exercise is great about 11AM and meditation about 2pm – give or take.

2. Being mindful of others is a great way to build connection: When we recognize others’ body language and tone of voice, we are better able to connect with them and respond to them in a way that feels good to them which is on of the building blocks of relationships. When we are talking with someone new, we are building that relationship. Being attuned to the other person’s body language will let us know if this is someone we want to continue a relationship with or not.

To some degree, most of us do this naturally and we don’t have to TRY too hard to be mindful about other people’s body language. Have you heard of the Still Face Experiment in the 1970s? This experiment helped us see that even when children are a few months old, they respond to body language and facial expression.

Sometimes body language is misinterpreted such as when someone's arms are crossed. Are they chilly, uninterested, angry, just in a comfortable position, protective? Add in facial expression and tone of voice and it becomes easier to decipher the body language…although it’s not always perfect.

3. We all judge: No adult that I know can be mindfully present all the time. Just as we are getting into the groove as they say, the little voice in our head pipes up and we are out of the moment. We are constantly judging our surroundings. It is part of what keeps us safe.

Practicing mindfulness, however, allows us to just be for a moment; turns the fight/flight off. As you are working on building confidence in your ability to market your practice or let go of anxiety, the more you spend time practicing mindfulness, the faster you will reap the benefits.

When you get up in the morning, or between tasks, or just before you do something that makes you nervous, take a moment and just be. Notice your breath, notice your stomach or chest rising and falling. Notice your muscles releasing. Notice your skin.

Once you are there, do a visualization exercise; see yourself performing as you want to be. See yourself talking easily to the receptionist about their business and how your business compliments theirs. See yourself getting all your tasks done with relative ease.

Then bring it back to your breath with an affirmation or two and smile before moving forward with your day. This is so great because you are giving examples to your survival brain through images and a calm body that what you are going to do is safe. You are teaching your brain to relax in situations that do not need the alarm bells.

I have been practicing this specifically for several months and am starting to see results. Letting go of anxiety and marketing your practice does not have to be difficult with the right support and tools. You can live without so much anxiety by working with me in my 8 week anxiety management course or here if you are a therapist looking to get over your fear of marketing!